Struggled chapter 2 part one

Some start high school with a vague understanding of who they are, what they want to be and how they will go about doing it. Not me. Not even a little bit. Not even an iota.

I kind of drifted through my high school years. There was a constant trying to belong to some group I thought was cool but couldn’t get accepted into because I was being someone I was not. There was a constant mooching problem I picked up in high school due to a rich friends allowance and my impoverished state. I was a geek, who didn’t fit in anywhere, so it seemed.

I fell into accounting in high school and loved every minute of it. I would take all that was offered in that department in school. It makes one really wary of details. I would understand this later but not at the time. At the time, I just loved solving the money mystery of accounting. If there was a thirteen cent error, one had to find and fix it. Sometimes it would be one error for thirteen cents and yet another time it would be four errors, ninety six dollars and thirteen cents later. Talk about fun. Well, for me?? Yes. For you? Probably not.

It wouldn’t be until algebra and geometry that I really started to get into math. I loved x-y problems. Or, x+7=y-21 problems. It wouldn’t be until after school that it dawns on me math is about solving problems, plain and simple. It was not about x or y at all. It was solving problems.

English would turn out to bore me, me who read the dictionary for fun in childhood out of boredom, me, who used to write the play by play of the superbowl and sell it to people on the bus for a few dollars. Funny, from the one now who wants to be known for writing. Odd, that I hated my teachers. I thought they were boring and trollish. I don’t want to write a freaking book report lady, I want to move onto the next one. I do not want to write in a journal. I write enough crap as it is. Then, guess what, I do a lot of that after school is over, jokes on me.

Had I known, that the reason I was active in writing and poems and music, was to pursue it later, I would have done a lot of things differently. I instead, carried my grudge because I didn’t get on the baseball team or the golf team or the basketball team. I could have just went out for track and been truly successful at that perhaps. It seems to me, that had I known then what exactly I enjoyed, I could have made better decisions. Oddly enough, life kind of made them for me without my knowledge.

So, it seems after years of self study, that what we are good at in this life generally shows itself early. Some have theirs nurtured by their parents, teachers or friends. Some must nurture their own gifts. Some have been told to put their gifts away and think about reality. So, the world never gets to witness the greatness built into each one of us. Sad, really.


2 thoughts on “Struggled chapter 2 part one

  1. To quote Bart Simpson: “the ‘ironing’ is delicious”. It’s funny how what I hate now – or in your case, what you had hated back then – may emerge as a necessity in my near or distant future, or at least something enjoyable anyhow.

    • never heard that particular Bart Simpson quote but sounds funny. Some things are for us now, some things for us as we go through them and some for future as you stated. finding which is which is the special art form!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s