I used to think I was a nice guy till I had kids.
I used to think I was smart till I had kids.
I used to know what to do about everything until I had kids.
For quite awhile, I almost couldn’t stand my children. I looked at them like a curse instead of the blessing they are. I thought more about what they didn’t allow me to do anymore than what great adventures we could have.
So, I admit I was a very mean father, until I started to figure it out and help these little children on their path. Once, I started to think about how much fun it was to have children, then I could relax and try to guide them and not worry about governing them.
Here’s the thing, we tried several forms of discipline but it has dawned on me that what we were doing wasn’t working. So, to learn how to guide children even at their most undesirable moments is critical. As a kid, I got my fair share of swats but I don’t think I ever learned anything from that. I just learned that hurt. Then I learned to be afraid of stepping out of bounds so much that I wouldn’t have fun at all. Then adulthood and freedom came and I was still a scared little boy. I don’t want that for my kids.
I want them to choose wisely. Therefore, I must teach them the process of choice. I must teach them how to arrive at the best possible decision. I can’t do that if I only say no and swat.
So, kids i’m sorry, I wasn’t always the kind, gentle father figure I should have been. Forgive me, for I am learning more from you all then I think you are learning from me.
Its funny, they are little mirrors. If I don’t like what they are doing that means I don’t like what they have seen me do. so, example is truly important. Every day, I get frustrated, more now, because I see that I have done that very same thing and they are repeating. I tell them frequently “why can’t you catch the good things I do and copy them instead of the bad?” But, life doesn’t work that way.
More is caught than taught.
For those without children; don’t act like you know how to deal effectively always. You have not missed months of sleep, seen the stuff go on daily and lived it. You get to send them away or take them for a few hours. That doesn’t make you knowledgable or even an expert.
For those with children; Help those with newborns in a non judging fashion. help them improve their lives dramatically by giving them the knowledge that veteran parents have earned. Pay that wisdom forward.