Arrived

Some of the lucky few know exactly what God made them to do and be. Some, like me, do not. Somedays I dream about being the what if I knew what I was supposed to be doing in life person. Then, life smacks me back from dreamland and awakens me to the fullness of the journey laid out before me.

Bilbo Baggins didn’t know what would happen or plan it. He sure didn’t like adventure as any Hobbit would agree. They were a plain folk. A rather boring lot, until the wizard named Gandalf, set adventure in his path. Then, his life would never be the same. All because he simply accepted life on life’s terms.

I’m not knocking those who know their path and maintain strict focus to achieve it. I’m simply stating that has not been my case. I know I have always wanted to do music and art and writing but as of yet, I have not figured out how to support myself with it. That is not a bad thing either. Many of us have some awesome talents that we have been honing for years without any recognition.

What concerns me though, is that I always thought I would have it all figured out by the time I hit 30. 30 came and went by without me having a clue. Then I look around and I see people who are 60, who have not figured it out either and I somehow feel better about myself. Like, I’m not the only one so therefore I fit in this weird little mix.

There was one goal I needed to achieve from the age of puberty onward. I knew I had to find my wife. I didn’t think of anything else but that. I would hyperanalyze any and all interaction with any female. This would lead to a sad state where I couldn’t concentrate on the person themselves but the associations my mind was leaping to. Such as; she touched my arm, she must love me, this is the one… etc. I was a sad little puppy dog just trying to find my One.

To some, their career is more important. To some, money is more important, to some, their fun is more important. Not to me, I needed a wife like a stalker needs a target. It was bad. I was a psychological mess. I admit, I had some issues! Then I would get a girlfriend and think that I had found the one until further inspection would prove otherwise.

Have you ever searched for something so hard that you didn’t search for anything else in the process? Have you ever had one main goal in your life that you had accomplished and then drifted? Have you ever lived that fairy tale life? You know, find the one, get married and ride off into the sunset? Yes, me too. Then what?

Happily ever after is the ending not, the beginning. So, when two become one, that should be the beginning of a life together of meaning and purpose and laughter. Not the ending and they all lived happily ever after.

So, again, for those who accomplished their goal, it is time to make a new goal. TO seek something else while growing, and gaining wisdom. To encounter life, and the adventure that it can unfold to us if we let it. Peace! I will continue to write these thoughts out while I figure it out as well.

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