A butchering lesson

Today I will instruct you on how to butcher and why it matters.  Don’t read if you’re squemish.

1. kill it with a .22 or stunner

2. slit its throat or where its throat meets under its breastbone and ribs

3. cut its tongue out

4. get it on a cradle or other substitutable contraption

5. knife or saw its feet off at the knees on the front and on the long skinny part between hoof and the bend of its knee

6. cut your path, I go from throat to butt and then the backs of the legs

7. skin it and pull up as hard as you can with an intense angle

8. lift it up by the back legs hanging it by its tendon

9. split the breastbone, skin out the tail, circle the butt and pisser out of it, knife the lungs and heart around the cavity

10. rinse

11. gut it and keep the liver minus the gallbladder and the heart for edible consumption

12. skin the rest of it and drop the hide in a barrel or other offal catcher

13. split the carcass in half with a saw, cleaver or whatever is going to do your trick

14. rinse

15. hang it on the rail

16. put it in the cooler

17. pull out of the cooler after about 9-14 days for a beef and anytime after a day for a hog and start cutting it up for steaks and roasts

18. grind, wrap and package it for the consumer

19. do the billing and call the consumer for pick up and congratulate yourself on a big  job that requires effort

Why does this matter? 

Not many people can do this art anymore and that worries me because everyone or almost everyone used to be able and had to do this.  I think it still matters and I think people should go laud their local butchering meat processing shop.  I know it’s cheaper for steaks and the hamburger or sausage is just so much better.  I recommend going this route if you have a deep freezer.  There is normally two to three boxes or bins full of meat and it’s a welcoming route for one who likes to prepare for things in advance.  Save yourself some 800 to 1000 bucks and call the local shop up.  They either know a farmer who has beef or will find one quickly for you.  Yes it costs alot up front but it is cheaper.  A beef on the hoof sells for $2-$3 a pound and approximately another $1 or so to have it cut, ground and wrapped.  Can you buy rib eyes or porterhouse steaks at a big box store for $3.50? NO? Didn’t think so.  A hog is also an awesome deal for its price.  about $250 and its all yours.   Can you buy 100 pounds of  sausage and pork chops and shoulder roasts  for $250 at a grocery store? Probably not. 

Now if you can butcher it yourself and get a whole tribe of people to help you cut it up you can knock that price down closer to $2 a lb.  Small investment,  big return.  The only two complicated parts to the process are killing the animal with a .22 and using the saw to break it down for the various cuts.  Find a local butcher and ask for their help.  Butchers normally don’t make alot of money and would like to moonlight if possible.  They will at least be able to help on the complicated parts.

God bless and go hit up your local meat shop for an array of great goodies to sizzle on a grill.

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